


The Man in The Market

by aar13



Series: The Wounded Man I Loved [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aar13/pseuds/aar13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How's Bucky spent his day in Bucharest.<br/>Someone help him through this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Man in The Market

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English isn't my main languages, so excuse my grammars..  
> please be kind ;)

 

I just finished my shift,it's raining,luckily i brought my umbrella with me. My mom used to say better save than sorry,dear. I made a quick stop at the grocery store to pick some errands and straight to home after that,well not mine actually i decided to go to Bucky's. It's been a while since my last stop to his place. My hell shift week just over today,my job sometimes force us to be patient to meet each other. Yes,i miss him so much, i miss his kiss, his touch, his cheesy-pick-up line, his dorkiness and most of all i miss doing netflix and chill with him,well there's a tv in his place,but it's so old and don't have netflix. So when i said netflix and chill i mean instead watching cheap soap opera, we busy cuddling,spooning,make out and yeah.. you already know the rest.

  
It's already 8 pm, i keep up my pace,the rain it's not getting better and i think soon enough it will be a strom coming. I made it to Bucky's apartment,it's old apartment with maroon paint. There's no lift in this place,i had to use stairs. Well,when you just finished your hellish week at the hospital as ER's doctor,to take stairs to 7th floor is an ultimate torturing for your legs. Finally i made it to his front door,i grabbed into my bag blindly for the key,he gave me his spare key so i can come to his place whenever i want. I put the key on keyhole and make a silent entrance. The lights still out, i walked in hallway blindly to the main room,which is convert as bed room and tv room too. It's a small yet old studio apartment,the windows has been cover with newspapers. I saw him sit in high chair at the kitchen counter,there's slight light in that spot from the billboard outside the building. He looked so serious with his pen and notebook. I didn't think he realised I'm standing behind him. He always did that,he writes journals about his past life and presents,he didn't like when i called it diary and always gives me grumpy cat look after that. He said it's importat to him to wrote as many as he can remembered from his past,and what he wants to remember about presents, in case he'll forget it again in the future. The fact that he's been through memory loss phase scared him so much and made him got nightmares. I thought it getting better now, than the first time i met him. There's no smile or warm on his face,just sadness,anger and the gloomiest aura I've ever seen. Now he made jokes,smiles and believe me his smile it's a sunshine in a rainy day. So warm and peaceful although sometimes when nightmares came he became silent and looked so depressed but at least now i know how to make him a bit cheerful with my lame-st jokes.

..

  
I put my bag in the sofa and the groceries at the the table next to it. I poked his back and gave a warm hug,kissed his neck and buried my face in his back.

He turned around,took my hand and kissed it. I knew it's cliché but i always like when he did a gentleman prince things like that, he gave me a light sweet kiss on my lips and forehead.

"Welcome home,darling" he said with a little smile on his lips.

"What are you writing right now,Buck?" I asked, as i turn on the lights and walk to get the paper bag and put the groceries into the kitchen cabinet and the milk, orange juice and blueberry jam in the fridge.

"Well,it mostly about you,babe." He smirked and give me naughty looks

"About me? Really?

It's good or bad?"

  
"It has to be a good things only don't you think,because I must be the nicest girl you've met for almost a century,right?" I see him with my eagle look and one side smirk.  
Poured milk in a glass and drink it a bit

"Besides, why you write in dark place like that, it' not good for eyes you know"

He giggled, "Why don't you just read it yourself Gem." As he pushed his notebook to my direction.

"And don't you forget,i have upgraded eyesight,remember?"

I scoffed "Yeah you bet, Grandpa"

I dragged the notebook near me. I took a look of it. I just read the second page and it already give me blush, i bet my face is as red as mr.Crab right now. I closed the book in hurry and pushed it back to Bucky so hard that it almost fall from kitchen counter.

"Nope,that' too much for me,I better stop before i got nosebleed because it's just to embarrassing."

  
"What were you thinking,writing like that about me, even Fifty Shades of Grey looks like teenage book compare to that."

He burst to laughed.  
"Why not?"

  
"It's the fact, i just become a little bit detail than i usually do"

  
"And you never complain about anything when we actually "did or do" that."

  
"In fact sometimes, you more excited than me in bed.. if you know what I mean" He put satisfied naughty smile on his face.

I choked myself,and throw dirty napkin to him. He retrieve it easily fold it and continue to write.

"Babe,i just want to remember how wonderful my life after i met you,it almost magical for me too,you know."

"I can imagined what life i will be through if I'm not met you at the market that day."  
His eyes still stick in his book there's a warm smile on his lip when he said it.

I felt my chest filled with warm feeling that almost riped open my chest, my cheeks feels so hot and i thougt it became redder than before. I lost words. I turned my back from him and tried to get myself busy re-arranging the groceries in the cabinet.

 

_It almost a year and half since i knew him,and about 14 months after we decided to become intimate. It's my second months in Bucharest before i met him in the market. After finish my residents in Columbia University NY Presbytarian Hospital, I took 2 years tour with Doctor Without Border. I traveled to many conflicted area and third world country as an emergency and trauma doctor. After a while i thought i need to settle down but i didn't think i want to get back to US. I always like challenge,i like travel to place where i don't even know the language. That's why when a friend offered me a job in Bucharest National Hospital,i took it without hesitate. It's been a hard weeks when i first got here. Well,for the first time in my life i was think that i took bad decision. I'm an optimistic person but that time was a down side of my life._

_Romanian people doesn't talk in English at all i mean at all. Even the nurses, just a bit of doctors who can speaks English but their English is also not at their strong point. I pushed myself to learn Romanian as fast as i can,i bought dictionary and trained myself every night. I managed to get better in a month or let say i managed to bought myself some warm food and not mistaken with ice cream.Once I built my confidence and went to the market, try to buy some fruits._

_That's when i saw him for the first time._

_I accidentally bumped his abdomen with my elbow.I said sorry in Romanian,and he just starring at me with his killer look like he will murder me in second. I took myself away from him as soon as possible and thougt he was a gangster or mob or something awful and wish never met him again._

_But somehow when destiny written there's nothing you can do about it._

_I met him again,this time was in a valley , dark empty valley just like a murder or rape scene in Law and Order : SVU. He was standing with his backside in front of me. He didn't see me yet,and i thought it was the perfect time for me to run. But then i heard some meowing, i stop i decided to look closely and i saw a kitten brushing it fur to his leg. And suddenly he kneel down, at first i tought he's going to hurt the kitten. I almost scream no, but i stop because instead hurting it,he put his gloved hand on it head, stroked it gently. It purring calmly,he took out something from his bag, later i realized it was a box of milk,he poured the milk into a small can. The kitten drank immediately it looks liked that it was very hungry. He pat it head again and at that time i didn't believe what i saw,he smile. A warm peaceful smile. A beautiful smile. He didn't look like a murderer anymore,he just looked like a wounded man who has been through an agony. I felt something in my stomach,maybe it's sign that realized or not, i have feeling for him._

  
_I met him again the other day in market,actually i have been searching for him for days but couldn't find him. That's way when i saw him that day i felt little bit excited. He was picking plums, i tried to get nearer to him,my head thinking hard what should i said to him._

_"Hi,my name is Gemma,what's yours?"_

_Nope i sounded like a weird psycho lady._

_.._

_Should i talk to him in English or Romanian?_

_God, why is so difficult. I'm battling in my head_

_._

_I stand next to him. I didn't know what drove me,it's like my mouth had it owns mind,i said in Romanian_

_"That's not ripe,you shouldn't picked those."_

_"Here picked this and this and this instead." I picked 3 riped plums and handed those to him._

_He looked at me with weird look and say "Thank you" in Romanian._

_I glupped, my heart racing_

_"Yeah your welcome,hope you like it"_

_Shit! what did i just said. I took a step back,turn over my back and walk out as soon as i can. I felt so embarrassed._  
_I missed my chance to talk to him that day. I felt really stupid._


	2. Bucky

_I just finished my day shift. It's almost 11pm, I  knew it's not save for a girl to walk home alone at time like this,but what choice do i have,it's just 2 months since i got here,i don't think bought a car will be a wise choice because in fact I'm a doctor i still broke._

_I can't asked money from my parents because they both dead when i was in my 3rd year of med school. I'm the only child, my parent left some fortune for me,but my student debt literally washed-out my parents money. I still have a long distance uncle but well because my family history i barely never met him so he and his family just like completely stranger for me. That's the main reason i spent years travelling with Doctor Without Border and decided not to come back to US. Because i don't think i will be missed by anyone there._

_.._

  
_There's no public transportation left at the time like this,the last train i think stopped operating at 10pm or so. It's not NY by the way,  Bucharest literally slept at night. I decided to walked as fastest as i can,it's almost winter the road is a bit slippery i had to be careful or else i got slipped, bumped my head and brought back to hospital as a patient._  
_When i passed a pub. There's 3 or 4 drunk men standing smoking in my pathway. I tried to ditch them,i crossed the main road and take my walk at the other side of pathway. Tried hard not to draw an attention. But suddenly i heard some men cat-calling me. I tried to ignore them and keep up my pace._  
_Out of nowhere big tall man standing in front of me._

_I'm positive he's drunk,he said in Romanian_

_"Hi girl why so hurry,dont you want some fun with us? You know I can do fun" with a sickening smile on his lip._

_I stepped back,turn my back and tried to run,but there 3 men behind me too and they're all drunk._  
_I'm so scared and almost crying._

_The other men said in Romanian_

_"Oh she almost crying, don't you cry darling. How but if we just go straight to bussiness and have some fun" he take my wrist._

_I tried my best to let it go._

_"Let me go you pervert"_

_I kicked but the other man already grabbed my other wrist tightly. I scream for help the third man put his dirty hand in my mouth and they dragged me to the quite alley. I wriggled my body so much,i kicked,I'm doing everything i can to let myself go,but they were just to strong for me. But then just before that dickhead put his hand in my pants someone drag him out and punch him in his gut, the other men tried to help his friend. I sit up in corner shaking,cover my ears and shut my eyes. I'm so scared._

_..._

_Then i heard a voice asked me worryingly in Romanian "Are you okay" i still shut my eyes and my body keep shaking.He didn't try to touch me he just put his jacket for me,then he asked again this time in English_

_"Are you okay,miss?"_

_I forced myself to open my eyes,i had to calm down myself beside this man already save my fucking ass,i have to tried not being bitch and gave him more trouble that he already had._

_I saw him,it's the man in the market._

_He has dark hair and i just realised how blue his eyes is. They're like deep blue sea yet so clear like sky,beautiful._  
_He offered his gloved hand for me to stand. He took my backpack and handed it over me. I said thank you and he just turn his back and already gonna leave. At first i thougt that he's gonna left me here alone but he isn't. After a few steps, he turn his back to me again._

_"Aren't you come, or you just gonna stand there alone?" He said._

_I shocked, but then i keep pace behind him. He just standstill and let me take the lead. I walk home with him behind me. He didn't say any word just walk in silent. I let myself to be as silent as he is too,its a bad night afterall and i didn't feel like i want to make a warm chitchat or else._

_..._

_We finally made it to my apartment,he just stand and wait for me to went inside. Just before i shut my apartment door, I thought i saw blood dripping from his sleeve._

_He got cut._

_I walked to him and grabbed his wrist. He looked at me confuse._

_"As a doctor i can see a patient walk out from me bleeding, you need to patch it up." I said_

_He put his other hand to my wrist and said "It's okay it's not a big deal" and tried to let my grab go._

_But i still insisted not to let go._  
_"No you can't, you'll get infected if its not treat properly, and you'll be dead."_

_"I've got tools in my room i can stitch you up there."_

_His face softened_

_"So you asking me to go to your room on our first meeting?"_

_I swore i see slight naughty smile on his corner lip._

_"Well,i mean i just want to do the right thing,afterall you save my life, maybe i can save yours" I tried not to blushed and stay cool._

_._

_"Besides it's not our first meeting you know,as i remembered it's our fourth so yeah i can take you to my room."_

_He again gave me a weak smile,he let go his hand from my wrist and softly said_

_"I know,i remember too" and let me drag himself inside._

_..._

_I prepared my tools as he sat in couch,i gave him towel and asked him to open his sweater and shirt becuse the wound is on his right upper arm just right on deltoid muscle. He did what he told. I almost dropped my warm water bowl when i saw something i never seen before in my life. His left hand,it made of metal. I stand still for a while tried to process what possible could happen to him that made him got that metal arm. Maybe he's a wounded soldier,got his upper left limb amputated and replace with those. But as trauma doctor I've seen a lot of people with prosthetic limb but nothing like those. I decide to ignore it. I sat next to him examined the wound first and put disinfectant cotton on to it. He's not flinched at all. I told him that I'm going to give him some lidocaine to numb the pain. He just nodded and stay in silent. I put some good stitches in his upper arm. Just as i put some bandages to cover the stitches,he asked me with his low husky voice_

_"Aren't you afraid of me?" He starred at wall blankly._

_I looked at him first and i said_

_"No,why should i?" as i continue working with the bandage._

_He didn't answer._

_.._

_After i finished patch him up,he went home. There's no goodbye kisses or hugs._

_Before he left i asked his name, he said with his low voice "Bucky". I didn't know if it's his real name or he just made it up. I told mine and said thank you again for saving my life, he just nodded at me as he left._

_._

_I close the door thinking what i have been through,what was really happen. I'm too tired for that. It's been a long night. I just hit my bed and went to dreamland immediately._


	3. the Caveman

_I've met him again in market. He's nicer than our last meeting. We dicided to get coffe at cafe near the market. Me, like always order hot caffe latte, double shot with 2 pumps of maples syrup. Him? easy, black, no sugar._

_We spent our morning drink coffe and talked about random things. We talked about a lot of things, from the smallest unimportant things to the most complicated things like economics, politics and the way of life. Our morning chat made me change my point of view of him. He might look cold and quite outside, but once he opened up himself to you, you found he was dorky yet smart person with a weird point of view. I found he often lost clue about what we've talked, like he just daydreaming drowning in his own mind. And sometimes he kind of out of date about light news, like he once asked me what is 1Direction or Kardhasians means. I burst my coffe to his face and laugh loudly until my cheeks felt hurts when he asked about that, because he asked with very serious face, like it's matter of life or death._

_Somehow when i talked with him,i felt that he has old soul in himself, his music taste or his movies choice. Come on, what kind of people who still prefer swing music and never ever seen even just one Star Wars movies?A caveman i guess. But also there something he tried to avoid,some secret he didn't want to tell me. When i talked about myself, then i asked about his personal life, like where he's really come from, how many brother and sister he have, or the reason he end up in Bucharest, he will try to change the subject or just start daydreaming again._

_Despite of all of that, i didn't really care so much because i enjoyed most of our conversation and he made me feel very comfortable. And i think he felt the same way too. In fact our morning coffe conversation become our little routine every morning before my morning shift begin._

 

 

 

I sit in front of him,sipping my milk little by little and watched him dearly, he still busy with his notebook. It's a pleasuring scene actually, i enjoyed every second admiring every single features of him. Yes i admitted he's the most handsome guy i ever date. I got several on off relationship in my life, I've dated an asshole, a handsome senior, a computer geek, a band member, etc, well my point is I'm pretty experience in dating. But with him, it's all feel different like i didn't have any clue what he's thinking about me or about anything in general.

He's so mysterious, stiff, flat, and quite.

Really! first time we went out for date he didn't said anything. He's more action first talk later type i guess. But that makes him different from other guy.

I also realised when i walk with him a lot of girls checked him out, sometimes became unbelievebly flirting with him, even when i sat next to him. He doesn't bat an eye, he ignored all of them and i knew after that they will looked at me judging and give me bitch look. Well i didn't blame them, he's tall, devilishly handsome, his jaw-length dark haired even tought made him looks like caveman but it also gave him the image of a wild-sexy caveman, his beautiful blue eyes and muscular, not bulky muscular like Dwaynne Johnson but it more than enough to make my under cleching when he doing pull up. Don't judge me,but yes i already had wild imagination with him on our first date. And i think it's all natural,every girl must be felt the same if they're in my position. I just want him to touch me,kiss me and didn't need a lot of time to made me wet.


	4. Confession

 

I still spying at him,we basically spent our night quite. I know when he busy with his notebook no one can bothering him,including me. Once i tried to flirt with him when he was like this. He ignored me completely,tired with my useless attempt i went to bed. But once he finished his journal,he crawled to bed and paying off for letting me down in the first place. Yes,we fucked like a champ. I barely can move my legs after that.

...

Speaking of sex, I still remember that day,i don't know how he remember it. But for me,is the most magical experience in my life. The day we decided to move forward in our relationship. The day we first have sex. It was 4 months after we knew each other,4 months after our routine morning coffe. It's slow i know,but dealing with person like Bucky,it worth to wait.

...

_It was raining like today,we just went out for our date. Just usual hang out, went to movies, got some pizza in our favorite pizza parlour downtown. The rain won't stop even it was midnight, we decided to run to his place because it was nearer than mine. I was soaking wet,he was too. He gave me clean towel, and suddenly i saw he was blushing. He turned his back to me,at first i was confused with his reaction, then i realised my red bra and panties was showing off under my white soaking dress. I giggled,and thought it was so cute watched a man whom usually so cool as fuck shows reaction like that. I dunno from where i found courage to stepped up and i flirted with him a bit._

_"Why you backing at me,am i disturbed you with my appereance?" I asked._

_He shook his head "No,of course no" cough awkwardly "It just.. " He didn't continue his sentence._

_I wait for him to answer. But he just stay there silently._

_.._

_"It just what?" I asked._

_"If this doesn't bother you, why won't you turn around, i want you.. i want you to see me."_

_He turned his back slowly,our eyes met,i gave him a little smile, his face look flat. When he put that kind of poker face i really didn't know what's in his mind._

_I decided to get near him. I took his right hand,and felt that he's a little bit shaking. I look into his eyes,his blue eyes look back at me but it looks so sad, it's the saddest look he ever gave to me. Like he will burst into tears in a minute, and it's totally confused me a lot,i never seen him like this before. I put my other hand on his chin caressed his cheek dearly._

_"Why?"_

_..._

_"Tell me, what's in your mind"_

_..._

_"Share it with me, I'm here for you Bucky"_

_He stepped back,grabbed my hand away from his cheek, he didn't see me in the eyes anymore instead he just looked down and said with his husky low voices almost whispering_

_"I don't deserves this."_

_It made really confused,i didn't believe what i just heard. I asked him again to confirm it_

_"Wait What?"_

_"What do you mean you don't deserved?"_

_"I don't understand Bucky?"_

_He just stand quietly, avoid eye contact with me._

_"Bucky, i..you have to know, i care for you.. i love you, Buck"_

_Still no reaction from him,silent._

_..._

_My mind was in chaos,i think hard why he said that kind of things, do i did something wrong that makes him hate me or i just.. I grabbed his chin,force him to look at me in the eye._

_"Bucky,please speak to me?"_

_..._

_"Or you.. You never love me,do you"_

_He clinched his jaw,but still not answering._

_I looked straight to his eyes,begging him to at least give one simple explanation about what just happened between us._

_..._

_Still silent, i gave up. I put away my hand from his face, step back. My body start to shaking._

_"Am i..am i interpretation all the things we do wrong?"_

_"So it's all just in my he.."_

_"Oh my God"_

_I was choke when i said my last sentence to him,turn my back at him i put my hand wrap my chest to my elbows,trying hard not to cry. I felt so ashamed. I felt so stupid. I was to confident a man like him will love me back. I want to get out from his place as soon as i can. I can't let him seeing me cry. I grabbed my bag at the couch and made my way to the door._

_He grabbed my wrist._

_"Wait,you wrong.. that's not what i mean" he said rushly._

_I wiggled my hand tried to let go,i already burst into tears,i just can't hold it anymore_

_"Let me go Bucky, please don't make me hate you more than this.. please don't hurt me." I'm begged at him._

_He clenched his jaw. Instead of letting me go,he pull me harder and wrap his hand around my shoulder. He hug me tightly,almost crushed me into his,but try his best not to hurt me. I tried my best to push him away,i punch his chest altough i know it was useless,but i still try to let myself go away from him_

_"Please Gemma listen to me, I really don't want you to go or hurt you"_

_I still struggled in his hug,_

_"Let me go Bucky,why you do this to me, you're hurting me"_

_I didn't want to cry,but my tear duct betrayed me so bad._

_"I never meant to hurt you,Gemma"_

_"Please believe me" he said hopelessly_

_..._

_"Because i.." he choked._

_I slowed my movement,my heart racing,i try to look up to see his face,and he was looked back at me._

_"I never meant to hurt you,because I love you"_

_I blinked and freeze. My head was working so hard that i think it just shut down. I just look at him,i don't know what kind reaction should i gave after hearing his last sentence._

_He looked at me dearly,he put a weak smile on his lips. He weakened his hug,he grab me on my arms. Lower himself so our face at same level._

_"Yes,Gemma i already fall for you,i fall for you so hard that i think i can't stand alone anymore." He said._

_"I want you more than anything in this world"_

_I still stand frozen. I forced myself to able to open my mouth and asked him_

_"Then why?"_

_"Why you said that kind of things before?"_

_"If you love me and want me,why you said you don't deserve me?" I looked him confusedly._

_He sigh,he put his head on my shoulder._

_"I.." I wait for him to speak After a long pause,he looked at me again in the eyes_

_"Because i lied to you about almost everything in my life"_

_.._

_"My past... i was i different person from what i am right now"_

_.._

_"I did bad things to people, many innocent people" ..._

_"Do you ever.. do you ever wonder why i got this metal arm" He let go his grab from me and looked sadly to his left hand,his metal arm_

_I just answered spontaneously "From war?"_

_"I thought you lost it in war and replace with prosthetic like all wounded soldier do"_

_.._

_He smiled weakly at me. Take a long inhale and breath out._

_"There's some much i need to tell you and you might hate me after i tell you everything."_

_._

_"I won't" I replied immediately. I looked him in the eye,determinedly._

_He took my hand,guided me to sit on the couch. Took a blanket and cover my soaking body with it. He took a walk to the kitchen,open the wooden floor near the fridge. There was a secret storage where he hid his backpack in it. He took it and walk back to me. He kneel down in front me,open his backpack. It full with notebooks._

_He took one and handed it to me. Hesitantly but gave it to me afterall._

_"I think you can start with this"_

_I grabbed the book from his hand,he still holding it tightly. He looked at me worryingly._

_"It's okay, you have to trust me too Buck"_

_I put my other hand on his scruffy cheek and smile weakly to him._

_He let the book go. Stand and walked away to gave me some space for me to drown myself in his notebooks._

_.._

_I opened the book,prepared myself for the worst. Page by page i read it. About his childhood and the fact that he was born in 1917. About how he was a Sargeant before. About his friendship with Steve Rogers aka Captain America. About his participation in WW2. About Howling Comandos. About him falling from cliff and how he lost his left arm. About him being abducted by Hydra. About how Hydra turned him into killing machine. About his missions. About how he remembered all of his missions. About his nightmares. About everything and everyone he has failed. About how he hate himself when he was standing in front of mirror and look at his own reflection. About everything he has been through after what happened in Washington DC. About how he spent his days after that._

_._

_I turned the last page of the last notebook in his backpack. I felt tears coming down from my cheek. It was so sad and so hurtful._

_._

_It was hell._

_._

_I stood from the couch,i walked to the kitchen where he wait for me to finish the books. Before he said anything to me,i rushly hug him. I buried my face into his chest. I crying like a baby,i wet his shirt. I tried to cry without making any sound. I just muffled my whimp by hold him tighter. He doesn't say anything he just hug me back buried his head on my shoulder. I felt his warm tears dropping to my collarbone. He was crying too. We just hug in silent for a while._


	5. You'll be Ok, I Promised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part from The Man in The Market
> 
> I tried to revise some parts of the story. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it as much as i do. ;)

 

_I loosened my hug from him,and put my hands on his jaw so i can see his face clearly._

_"It's okay, I'm here for you Bucky"_

_"You have me now,everything will be okay"_

_..._

_"I promised" I said it heartly_

_He took my hands from his jaw and kissed them. He looked at me softly and his right hand caressed my cheek_

_"You're a nice girl,Gem"_

_"This is why i told you that i don't deserve this."_

_"You're too kind for me. I don't deserve this affection from anybody especially from you, after.. after what I've done in my past"_

_I shook my head disagree._

_"You talk shits,Bucky"_

_"I love you,and i want you, and i know you feel the same for me. That's all matter for now on"_

_"I don't care about your past"_

_"I......"_

_"Stop Gemma." He said weakly, cut into my sentence before i finished it_

_._

_"You already know how dangerous i become when they controlled me."_

_"And i don't think i can't control my mind sometimes,that's why i still got nightmares."_

_"The fact that i can hurt you when i lost myself is crushing me"_

_"I don't wanna hurt you, not in any way"_

_.._

_"That's why i think we should take our time away from each other until i have fully control of myself"_

_..._

_I hate him talking like that,and i really want him to stop. I grabbed his collar shirt toward me and i kissed him._

_I kissed him passionately,i gave it all to him,all my emotion to the kiss. I want him to know what i feeling right now._

_At first he was hesitate,but then he just take it back,he kissed me back,he pulled me closer to his lap._

_After a while, I pulled myself away from him,put my hands on his cheek and my forehead to his. Still panting from the kiss,i looked him in the eyes._

_"I'm the one who chose you Bucky, deal with that!"_

_"I'm the one who chose you since the second time we met at the alley,when you feed strayed kitten"_

_"That's when i know you have kindness and warmth in your heart and i want to protect it"_

_"You are a good man,Buck. It's not your fault,they made you did that"_

_"Never ever blame yourself for that."_

_..._

_"All i know now is I love you, and you love me too, right?"_

_"So please.. please for Godsake just cherish it with me"_

_.._

_He kissed me again,this time he took the lead. I opened my mouth for him,his tongue slide into mine. It felt so warm,i bite his lower lip,he makes a deep groan. His tongue trail away from my chin to my neck,he kissed hard there. He marked me,i know it will shows tomorrow but i deal with that later._

_His hands is on my back move up and down until his metal arm grab my butt. It felt cold but it just turned me on more and more. I made a slow move to the bulge that has been throbbing hard and warm on my thighs. He's bite his lip and groan when i grabbed it harder. He look at me and gave me naughty smirk. And i knew i just turn him on more too._

_He took my dress up from me throw it to the floor,i took away my red bra to show him my boobs. He enjoyed what i gave to him, cupped them with his hand and sucked my right boob and play my nipple with his tongue,i moan. His hand still trailing through my body,he touch me everywhere. It made me lose my mind. He slide away my panties and now i completely naked in front of him. The fact that he still fully dressed makes me want to throw away his shirt as soon as possible. His bare chest is so amusing,his muscle looks more sharp when he was wet with sweat. I trailed his abdomen to the v shape near his groin. Slide my hand into his jeans,he's already hard. I tickled his cotton-covered balls and it makes him made a sound that i thought so sexy like a wild animal. I slide my hand inside his brief but he hold my wrist._

_"Slow down baby, A gentleman is always put his lady first"_

_"And I'm sure, I am a gentleman"_

_He lifted me easily with his left hand,his metal arms. His right hand still in my neck pulled me closer for him to fuck my mouth with his tongue. He put me carefully to bed. He still fucking my mouth so hard that i felt my lips already swollen. His right hand already under playing with my now hard clit. I whimped when he does that. He kissed down to my neck then to my boobs, sucking, licking, bitting, you name it.He put a finger in my opening caressed it,then slightly he put two inside me,twirling and scissoring inside me. His thumb still play with my clit. He added a finger inside me. And it totally throw me to the top,i make moan and called his name. Even he was still busy with my boobs i still can feel that he giggled satisfied. He kissed trail down to my under,the he blow me. Fucking me with his tongue. I almost hit my limit i can't take it anymore I am gonna cum. He keep up his pace with his tongue,my body arched,all my muscles tighten. I cum hard i can see stars from the corner of my eyes._

_When i finally can gain my awarness he already on top of me with his satisfying smile,he wipe his corner lips and i realised it was my cum._

_"Welcome back, dolls" he said._

_God,he looks so sexy. He then kissed me again and let me tasted my own cum,it's first time for me and it just made me feel more aroused._

_I pushed him back and makes my way to be on top of him. Now it's my turn to make him feel what i felt before. I kissed him passionately,trailed all over his body to his jeans. Well,i can't believe after what he has done to me he still wear his jeans. I opened it rushly,freeing his already hard cock. I glupped when i see how big it become when it's hard. I mean it might be the biggest cock i ever see. I put my hand lightly on his shaft and moved my hand slowly up and down. I let him watched me played with his cock. At some point i grabbed it hard like i milking it,he's flinched and make deep groan. I gigled as i out my other hand on his balls and play with it. He raised his hand to reach my neck to kiss me. I parry his hand._

_"No,you can't touch me now,Sargeant!"_

_I moved my hand on his shaft up and down faster. He lay back his head to the pillow and groan like a wild animal. I kissed the top of his cock,licked his pre cum and not for long i already put it in my mouth. I sucked it,twirling with my tongue, i follow his hip rythm. As he already stiffened i keep up my pace._

_"I'm gonna cum,babe."_

_"Uuggh, i don't want to come in your mouth,please" he said panting._

_He hold the sheet tighter as he can't touch me. Instead slowed down i keep my pace faster and put my hands on his hip to make me go deeper._

_"Good God,Gemma" he called my name as he came._

_I swallowed his white warm sperm,it tasted so good. I licked him clean._

_After i finished, i looked him with naughty looks_

_"Come on Sargeant tell me what do you feel right now?"_

_"Do you like it?"_

_"Yes" he answer still with his husky voice_

_"Good,now you have my permission to touch me"_

_He pulled me back closer kiss me and turn him into the leader. I amused how fast he recovered,i can't believe myself he already hard again. Maybe it' one of the advantage of being super soldier. Well,i will never complain about this._

_.._

_"Bucky,babe please" I'm panting_

_"What baby,tell me.. tell me what you want me to do"_

_"I need.. i need you" It's hard to keep my breath steady_

_"Gem, tell me exactly what you want me to do"_

_"Please i want you inside me,i need you inside me"_

_Not take a long time he already slammed himself inside me,i whimped, he goes slow,makes sure that he has been inside me completely before make another move._

_"God you so warm and tight Gemma, it felt so good" he whisper in my ear. "I will move now" I nodded my head,give him permission._

_He started to pull it back almost at my opening and slammed it back hard. He does that on and on. He keeps up his pace became faster and i came harder than before,i literally collapsed in joyful for second. He still thrusting hard,he groaning, i know he almost came too. I wrap my thighs around his hip help him reached it hard. After 4 hard slam he arched,emptying himself inside me._

_He burried his face on my shoulder. I giggled,i feel so great, he bite my earlob and kiss it, and his face just 5 cm from me. I coud feel the warmth of his breath,he smiled._

_"Hey"_

_"Hey" i said back,tucked his fallen hair behind his earlobe._

_"I love you" he said_

_"I know,i love you too" and i kissed his nose_

_That night,i don't remember how many time i came,he always recovered so quickly until finally i couldn't keep up with him anymore. I felt my body is so sore and i barely can't move my legs. I basically tapped him,and he took my cue. We spent the rest of the night sleeping in satisfaction with his arms around me keeping me safe._

 

 

....

 

 

I couldn't hide my smile whenever i remembered about that night. Nights after that is not less magical. Until now we still doing sex like sport,my favorite sport i admitted.

Finally he finished his journal. He put his pen down and looked at me.

"I made this copy for you,it meant to give it to you dolls."

"So you know what i felt about you,because you said you're curious about how's my feeling to you."

"It's all in this notebook." He handed the book to me with his wide smile.

.

"Wait did you say you made copy?"

"Yes" he replied

"You mean,you re writes one of your note book to make a copy of it" there a shocked in my voice

"Yes" he raised one of his eyebrow.

"What's wrong with that?"

.

"Oh my God,darling" i can't hold my laugh anymore

"Have you heard a machine called copy machine than can copy anything you want in seconds?"

"What?" He said confusedly 

I looked at him softly,and smiled.

"Baby,you know what you need right now is, you need to go outside a little more often,there's a lot of things you need to keep up"

"I felt like i just talk to a caveman about modernisation" i giggled

He scoffed disagree and started make grumpy cat looks.

.

"You know i like caveman version of you, i thinks it's cute" I pulled his shirt so he come closer to me. I kissed him

"But next time you feel like you need to make backup of your notebooks all you need to do is called me"

"So save more time and it means more time for us to..."

I grabbed the front of his pants lightly,stroked it a little teasingly and watched his expression changing. Put my index finger in my mouth and licked a bit.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Let's order some pizza"

"And then we can do netflix and chill maybe?"

I walked out over him to pick my phone,but after a few steps i turned around and gave a naughty slutty looks. And it more than enough for him to take the cue.


End file.
